Saturday, November 17, 2007

What do you expect me to do?

"How do you study ?"

It's a perfectly fine question if you ask once. It's perfectly NOT fine if you ask for every damn subject. And it's even worse if you do it now because you're a UNIVERSITY STUDENT.

It annoys me, how the heck did you get to university when you're asking this kind of question now?

Regardless, here's my answer... this is a sure fire method to score A+ in every subject that you take. I don't want to do it for every subject because it'll arouse suspicion. So pay attention...

First you MUST read your notes while you're standing on your hands. You must make sure that all your blood is flowing into your brain so that your brain can get maximum amount of oxygen and thus your brain will function better. Once you're done reading your notes... DON'T do your past year papers, not yet at least. You'll need to pray to Jesus/Allah/Guan Yin//Albert Einstein (if you're free thinker) to bless you with their wits and their brains. Hands off the past year papers, it's still not the time yet. Once you're done praying, you'll need to look for divine signs from the Gods/smoke weed and down a whole bottle of vodka AND tequila(for free thinkers) to know that you've inherited their brains and knowledges. That's when you start doing your final papers.

There, simple and easy. If vodka and tequila are too expensive, you can use beer as alternative... effect may not be as good though.

What about past year papers you ask? Nah, they're just useless... just a means to increase other people's pressure. Whenever your friends ask you if you've finished your past year papers, just say that all of them are so easy that you've answered all of them using your feet with your eyes closed.

But the notes are unorganized and you don't see a connection between the chapters you say. Ah, then I'll let you in on a little secret... actually the reading notes while you're standing on your hands part... I said it so that I can have a little laugh while watching you pulling it off. It's totally unnecessary... why would you need to read the notes when you're going to inherit God's brain?

But you're a free thinker you say... you can't inherit God's brain because you don't believe in God. Fret not, Albert Einstein will rise from the dead and provide you with his rotten brain. I believe his rotten brain is far more superior than your brain, you just need to be able to stand the stench... and the maggots that come along with it.


No more buts! Do what I've told you and you'll be on your way to your road of eternal glorious distinction!

I'll see you in Woodbridge once you graduate.

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